Mazwar creates MMA shorts so good it has military implications!

In shocking News tot he MMA world, textile and research and development scientists announced the development of a new style of fight short that actually aids in the fighter's ability to gain submissions. The scientists clarified," we don't mean that the shorts had some sortt of extra length in the lateral slits or nice solid mixtures of various wicker fabrics and all that, which they sure as hell do. No we mean that they actually seemed to act in some sort of symbiotic way in conjunction with the fighter and actually seemed to use a small nanotech body sensor to somehow....pull opponents exposed limbs into ideal positions for submissions," reported the R + D specialist," visibly shaken by the implications of what the brand new MMA companies technology could not only mean for modern MMA, but the implications for modern warfare as well. "Theoretically, it means that Special Forces operatives could sit back and the terrorists might be drawn to them and then have their arms or legs broken with no loss of life on the military side.

Some angry Jiu Jitsu fans, who have beeen following Mazwar gi's and kimonos as they have spread on the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu circuit this year as the possible cause of the success of certain fighters who seem to be just a "little bit too good for their own good " said one unnamed source

Mazwar fight shorts featured in Glover Teixeira victory in Bitetti Combat 8

I mean seriously, this guy has won 10 fights in a row!! Coincidence? Probably, he's an awesome fighter.

The company who has created the technolgy, speaking to mmaprofightshop on  condition of anonynimity said " we're not even launching our official websites until July 21. We're already getting....scary letters and threats from other MMA companies. Our website isn't going to be online until the 21'st of July, 24th if our head programmer really does start to think people are following. To be fair, last time, they actually were but that's not for me to discuss."

Mazwar logo

Mazwar company logo - developer of MMA super technology - online July 24 at mazwar.com - obviously....That`s kind of a no-brainer

 

While this is certainly great news and portends great things for Mazwar's quality of MMA clothing and gear, as well as bearing significance for United States military power, especially in the hand-tohand training of Special Forces. Other competitors of the upstart mazwar were less-than enthusiastic. Representatives of companies CONTRACT KILLER and HITMAN FIGHT GEAR, known for being....aggressive with other MMA companies were cryptic and curt in their comments. One representative for the companies said curtly, "yeah, they did something that could be a little problem for us. But somethings these things get....fixed...accidentally and it's nobodies fault. Sometimes people have accidents, you know, like they end uo slipping on a banana peel and into a large barrel of concrete at 3 AM in the morning at a construction site. It could happen to anyone." The representative then asked to be excused and made a discrete phone call on his cell phone and asked to be excused.

Hitman and Contract Killer representatives

Intimidating representative of Hitman and Contract Killer

 

White officials, in a rare display of personally protecting private enterprise from imaginary threats held an emergency meeting today . They seemed quiet and somber and issued terse,"no comments," when asked to comment on the affair. it should be noted that one White House official was seen with the edge of a Sedoku book sticking out of his briefcase and what could only be described as "whiskey breathe and a suspicious bottle of something in a paper bag.

White House Officials

Harried White House officials and a suspicious bottle ofsomething vaguely whiskey smelling in a brown paper bag. No mentions of Anthony Weiner's were found inthe notes that press officials rifled through on shaky legal grounds leaving many despondenat that the best political scandal since Clinton and cigars had come and gone WAY too quickly. I mean come on, a sex scandal with aguy named Weiner, it almost seems unfait

 

In conclusion we here at MMAprofightshop.com are after one thing and one thing only. Journalistic integrity. HAHAHHAHHAAHA LOL, no seriously it`s cash. Cold hard cash that can be used to pay off any insistent loan shark or delinquent car, mortgage or light bill payments. So if you were under the impression that we care about anything than getting the best quality products to you, our customers, you were wronmg. We only care about the best products appearing on MMAprofightshop.com and by God, mazwar, Hitman, and Contract Kiler are 3 of the best. We have a BRAAND NEW shipment of Mazwar that has just arrived in our warehouses which will be posted online later this week and we hope that we can get Htiman and Contract Killer into our warehouses no later then next week. Either way, to make sure that 3 of the best MMA companies to ever walk the face of this earth get to you, our customer, we have asked neutral parties to make sure than nothing unruly happens and that no one sleeps with the fishes. Pauly Walnuts might be brought in as a mediator, despite his sometimes tempermental behavior. Still, the man has the experience and that cool looking stripe. Either way check back later day as we have loads of new prodcuts coming in this week and some HUGE updates too our catalogue.